New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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