sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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