Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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