Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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