One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize