Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to sanitize my soul.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
