FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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