i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
