Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
