She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
