You really coming over, don't trick.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
