Kiss
Puke
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
pop tarts are not kleenex
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We are two peas in an std pod
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
