All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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