Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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