The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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