found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
