Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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