i just had sex bonerless
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
