I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You've changed since you got that strap on
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
