I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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