Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
