Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
