we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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