Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
