how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
