I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
