My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
