Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
