did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
