How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
