she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
