A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
