Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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