i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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