He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
