I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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