I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
