It's Friday. Sex?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
