i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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