Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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