i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
