I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
