Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
