I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
