thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize