Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
