Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
