I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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