I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
