you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
