so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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