Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
