apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
