Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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