he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
