your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
