NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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