absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
