happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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