I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize