upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
