i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
