you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
