if only i could text you this smell
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
