that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Michael Bay diarrhea
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
