You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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